The smell of...defeat?

I really think with all the money that San Francisco is spending on 'going green', they should start putting some money into their public transportation system. And no, I'm not talking about making it run on solar energy or any shit like that. I'm talking AIR FRESHENERS!! The horrible stenches coming off of those trains have got to be doing some kind of damage to our Earth's atmosphere. So i have come up with a plan, a very good one if i do say so myself. Let me pitch it to you guys first before i take it to City Hall. Here goes.

Have you ever stepped onto a BART train, MUNI bus or cable car and had your eyes start burning? Your nose start feeling like the inner lining had been singed off? Had your face contort into a totally unflattering 'stink face'?? If you can answer yes to one or all of these questions, I have your solution! STENCH SENSE!! Stench Sense is a revolutionary device that is placed at the entry and exit points of your form of public transportation. Let's say an old homeless man bummed up enough change to get himself onto your bus. He hasn't showered since God knows when and he's covered in every form of bodily fluid you can imagine. Now who wants to sit next to that?? Or even be in the same 10 mile radius? Well now with Stench Sense's amazing odor sensors, you won't have to worry! As anything that smells any less fresh than a baby out of a bathtub passes by, the sensors will go off and POW! A deodorizing spray/air neutralizer blasts the culprit until the smell is gone! You will no longer have to sit next to Mr. 'I Just Got Out of the Gym and Decided Not To Shower Before I Left'. No more holding your nose when Ms. 'I'm Trying To Cover Up Last Night's Puke, Alcohol and Cigarettes With Cheap Perfume' stands next to you. And no more dry heaving when Mr. 'I Sleep On The Streets and Just Shat Myself Ten Minutes Ago' passes down your aisle. STENCH SENSE has got you covered. Or should we say THEM covered!


Yeah, yeah?? What do you think? Awesome idea, right? I'm totally writing to Mr. Newsom's sexy ass about this right now!

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