Femininity 101

If there are classes on how to be a girl, I would like to know please. I have come to notice i have a real hard time with that. I was definitely a tomboy growing up, but as i got older i felt i had grown into being a woman. I was wrong. I know everyone's gonna say "Well it's 2010 and we don't have to behave by society standards," and you're damn right! But I'm just saying...there are certain things girls do that i just can't get into.

For example;

1. Yesterday i had on peep-toe booties (see, i can dress like a girl), but i realized i hadn't painted my toe nails nor taken off the chipped polish that's been there for months. I grabbed a cheap bottle of black nail polish at the store across the street and proceeded to paint my toe nails. Except i only painted the ones that were showing.

2. While i was working on my car not only did i pretty much rip a good 2in x 3in section of skin off my arm and bruise the shit out of it, but i went back inside and forgot to wash my hands immediately. Forgetting i had oil and other black shit all over my fingers i wiped my hand down the front of my white tank top. I said fuck it and left it like that.

3. I can NOT sit with my legs crossed. If I'm ever wearing a dress or skirt, (which i rarely do anyway) i always forget and end up sitting with my legs spread out across the chair or whatever i happen to be sitting in. I honestly just think it's much easier to not cross your legs.

4. I burp louder than any guy i know. Holding it in hurts, ok? Gotta let it out!

5. A lot of the time i eat with my hands. If i can pick it up, it doesn't need a spoon/fork. If i lived alone i would never have dirty silverware.

Now that I'm re-reading this, i think i just may be lazy and/or gross. Meh...oh well.