On The Can

I'm not a person who is offended easily. And nothing is too off-color for me. Including bathroom banter. If i just took an amazing, 10lb shit...I'm gonna tell someone. If i have to piss, I'll announce it. If someone wants to play Battle Shits, it's so on! So, seriously females...let's sit down and have a chat. As much as i don't mind talking about what goes down when you're on the john, i don't wanna see it!

Take today, for example. I walk into the single-person bathroom we have here at work to take a leak and as I'm about to put the seat cover down i see a couple droplets on the seat. Thinking it might just be splash back from the toilet flushing, i take a closer look. Nope, it's yellow. What are you girls doing?? Getting up before you're done going or something?? Do you wipe AFTER you get up? I mean seriously. How do you manage to drip onto the seat? Even so, if you manage to do so WHY do you not wipe it off?! I make sure I pay attention to things like this but maybe i'm just anal. But i would definitely not feel good about leaving my mark on a toilet seat.

Today's lesson, ladies...pay attention when you're using the damn toilet. If you need to wipe it, wipe it. If you're squatting, watch where the hell your urethra is pointed. (Yes, it's possible. Just move your hips!) Common courtesy. Have some.